ALDEN gets through, but two of LINDA'S MINIONS grab EMILIA! The OFFICER then shuts the door and calls security on ALDEN! They get to a check point and bribe an IMPERIAL OFFICER. sure! 'Cause we all know that's definitely going to happen. Sorry lady, but who do you think is going to win this fight? The guy who has to prove himself as the cunning Han Solo, or the idiot who keeps windows in her lair when she's severely allergic to sunlight?ĪLDEN defeats LINDA by giving her SKIN CANCER, and he and EMILIA speed away in his cruiser.ĭon't worry Emilia, with this coaxium, we can buy our way out of this dump and live happily ever after! Yeah, I guess we like the way The Last Airbender looked, so we decided to go with that. Um, I know we're going for the dark and gritty atmosphere here, and I'm all for it, but for fuck's sake I can't see a damn thing! Everything is so dark and fuzzy. That's right folks, it's a movie about fuel again! I see you have managed to get your hands on some hyperfuel called coaxium. NOT HARRISON FORD and NOT LEIA try to escape the gritty streets, but are caught by WORM LADY LINDA HUNT'S minions and brought to her. if ever such a thing were possible.īut by some miracle, for better or worse, we can all come together and agree.Ī Han Solo origin story did not need to be made. Also, thanks to Disney cranking these movies out every six months, Star Wars fatigue has possibly begun to set in. Tensions are still high from The Last Jedi, and fans can still be found arguing on Mark Hamill's twitter account to this day.
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